I have been contemplating this post for quite some time now. I haven’t had a chance to actually sit down and write it and I also didn’t quite have the words ready….It was all in my brain and I knew what I felt but I didn’t have the words ready to come out and actually make sense of it all! (please tell me I’m not the only one whose thoughts don’t always speak english)
Basically 2016 taught me one thing… LIFE IS SHORT!
I turned 28 in 2016, and we also lost two friends who hadn’t had the chance to turn 28 yet. It was a hard year, an emotional year, a year for growth, and a year for realisation. It was almost a wake up call. We have been living this life day to day, going about our daily routines and doing what needs to be done. Yes we enjoyed ourselves and did fun things but we hadn’t been living the life we have to the best that we could. I don’t want to wake up one day and wish I had done more. I don’t want to wake up and look at my boys and realise that their childhood is gone and they are now big independent boys who are embarrassed by their crazy mumma.
I want to live each day to its fullest. I want to take in every moment of what time I have. I want to be present, be happy, be positive and enjoy life…living everyday as best I can. I want not only this year, but every year I have left to be about family, fun, adventure, friends and most importantly LOVE! It may sound cheesy but I only want to surround myself with those who I love and care about and who actually love and care about me back.
I plan on nurturing and growing those special relationships in my life with family and friends whilst removing myself from ones which impact negatively on my life or are not reciprocal. I am the type of person who puts 110% into something, and if someone asks me for something I will do everything I can for them going above and beyond. There are some relationships where I find I am constantly giving, giving giving while they are constantly taking, taking, taking and I walk away feeling undervalued and unappreciated. I am not only talking about friendships but work life as well. I want to feel great all the time and that can’t happen if there is negativity dragging me down. Not only does that negativity bring ME down, it has a trickle down effect and impacts everyone around me. When I’m feeling shit it makes me a crappy mum. I end up taking it out on the boys unintentionally and thats just not fair. I want to enjoy every day. I want them to enjoy everyday! I want to enjoy the life I have been given and it is MY responsibility to make sure that happens!
Its so easy these days to get caught up in everything you see online and on social media. Becoming so concerned about appearance and your image or what people think of your overpriced shoes and bag that you loose track of what really matters. Thats what my focus is from 2017 onwards…focussing on what REALLY matters!
When I was contemplating this post this morning and the words started rolling around in my head I was using a house investment as a metaphor. I would never invest all my time and energy into an investment property that wouldn’t have any positive returns. Why would I bother? The same thing should go for my life shouldn’t it? My friends and work? Why should I put in all my time and effort, sacrificing family time and other important things for a relationship or job that doesn’t have any returns. And no I am not talking about financial or tangible returns, I am just talking about the way it leaves me feeling! Would it be worth the investment? NO! It was just the metaphor that came to mind when I was juggling all my thoughts and feelings and trying to get them into some sort of order that would make sense!
I can sit around feeling shit about being treated like shit or I can move onwards and upwards and learn from the experience. I can hate work everyday or I can do something about it and get excited about what I do. THAT IS UP TO ME! I can let negativity drag me down or I can avoid it altogether and just be positive! I can let people walk all over me and undervalue what I offer or I can take a stand and show everyone exactly what I am worth! GOOD VIBES ONLY!!
Towards the end of 2016 when I was running around like a headless chicken juggling 2 jobs, the blogging work, the kids, christmas, renos and goodness knows what else I had on my plate I had a lightbulb moment!
I saw a sponsored post on Facebook for a job opportunity. I haven’t been actively looking for a new job, its something that has been in the back of my mind but I hadn’t done anything about it. I opened the ad and read the job descsription and I couldn’t believe the excitement I felt inside. It made me realise how much I really don’t enjoy what I do. This isn’t a pity me post, its just me sharing this realisation. The job description was me in a nutshell! It was a position to run the marketing and social media for an amazing company and also involved photography of the product and business! Like HELLO!! tick tick tick, PICK ME! PICK ME!
Unfortunately it was a full time position and whilst it sounded like a dream come true I couldn’t fathom trying to squeeze in 20 more hours of work a week in my life at the moment whilst the kids are young. I am lucky enough to be able to only need to work part time so that I can still be at home with the kids, pick them up from school and watch their after school activities. I don’t want to jump into a full time position and miss out on their key moments in life…Like I have said. Life is just too short!
I started 2017 without any new years resolutions. I didn’t want to set a bunch of resolutions that I probably wouldn’t achieve that really don’t mean anything in the big picture. All I want for my 2017 is to be a better me! I have made a promise to myself to grow as a person and be a better version of the 2016 me. I want to be a healthier, less stressed, fitter, stronger me. But I also plan on being a better mum, a better friend and a better wife and to make the most of not only the next 365 days but for the rest of the time I have left here on earth! (corny I know but life is short, if I only get 28 years here I want them to be 28 amazing years, not 28 mediocre years)
If I succeed and continue to better myself every year it will mean I am always growing, which will mean I am always trying new things, pushing myself, tackling new experiences and living life.
I have started off simple. Just cherishing moments and doing what makes me happy. I plan on nurturing the love and throwing away the toxic. I plan on living simply, decluttering any unnecessary things. Less stuff means less mess, which means more time to have fun and less time cleaning up. In our final days (hopefully when we are 90) we won’t be thinking about that killer pair of heels we once had, or any of the ‘stuff’ we owned. We will be thinking back about the memories, so I plan on making some good ones!
I plan on being brave and challenging myself. Change is scary! Especially for me as I thrive on routine and knowing whats happening next and having that safety net. But I know that change can create amazing opportunities at the same time. I need change when it comes to my work life. I don’t know what that may be yet or which path I will go down but I do know I can’t continue with the job I have for much longer. I am left stressed and worn out and not challenged or excited in the slightest. To be a better me that is one of the biggest changes that will need to be made this year! I am 28 and still don’t really know what I “want to be when I grow up”. I’m pretty much all grown up now…I have achieved so much already in my young years. More than most. I am married, have two beautiful boys, have worked hard, saved hard, bought and fully renovated an entire house… and yet still don’t know! What I do know is what I love, what I am good at and what I enjoy doing…now I just need to figure out which direction I want to take and how to make it happen. That seems to be the hardest part!
I plan to travel more. Both near and far! We don’t have to go overseas all the time (but those trips will definitely be on the agenda)! We have this beautiful country we are lucky enough to call home right on our backdoor step just waiting for us to explore, one which I have hardly seen any of, and I plan to change that!
Well there you go….that word scramble that was jumbling up my mind for so long has finally formed itself into sentences which seem to mostly make sense. My mind is now clearer. I’m all about writing things down and having to do lists so it makes sense that by getting the words out and down on paper so to speak it has helped give me direction and a clearer sense of what I am doing and what needs to be done.
So if you take just one thing away from my ‘2017 life to do list’ (cause really thats what it is isn’t it :P) make it the fact that life is short….so make it amazing!